We haven’t heard the last of Jacob Zuma’s statue from Nigerian social media, as everyday people are making new jokes about it. The latest is a parody about the whole thing. Read it below:
Written by Adakole Emmanuel J.
Culled from Egbuhuzo Elijah-Praise Chika’s wall
ROCHAS chapter 6 vs 1-21
AN ACCOUNT OF THE KING’S GRAVEN IMAGE
1. And it came to pass that a certain Governor from the East by the name Rochas the son of Okorocha who ruleth over the province of Imo, sent a messenger to the kingdom of the Southern country of Africa.
2. And he said to the messenger, in this manner shall ye speak to the king, “long live the king! thou art highly favored in the the eyes of my Governor, even among the people of the province of Imo, therefore come this day to meet in my kingdom that though mayest be honored”
3. And the messenger did according to the words of the Governor.
4. And it came to pass that the king of the Southern country of Africa by the name, Jacob the son of Zuma, entered into the province of Imo, even into the city of Owerri, the dwelling place of the Governor.
5. And Rochas the son of Okorocha made a great feast and prepared a banquet before the son of Zuma that night. And he called all the noble men of the province to meet in his Palace, even in the court of the governor, they made merry.
6. The Governor hath also hired men of craft that they made a giant graven image of Jacob, the son of Zuma. And the height of the image thereof was ten cubit and two span , and the weight thereof was equals two thousand measure of brass. And the garment thereof was that of the noble men of the West.
7. And he placed the graven image at the centre of the city of Owerri. And unto Zuma, the king of the Southern country of Africa, was a title given which was higher above any other in the province of Imo. Also, the Governor nameth a street of the city after him. This was the manner with which king Zuma was honored.
8. All these things happened on the tenth month of the sixth year that Rochas the son of Okorocha reigned as Governor over the province of Imo.
9. But it came to pass that when it was told the people that the Governor hath spent five hundred and thirty million shekels of gold and silver for the graven image of Jacob, the son of Zuma that they were wrought with anger.
10. And it grieved the laborers of the province and they took counsel among one another and saith, but how shall this thing be? Is Jacob the son of Zuma also among the righteous men?
11. Howbeit that the son of Zuma was honored in this manner in the province of Imo? Is not he the same king that dealeth dishonorably in the manner that he spent the gold and silver from the treasury of his country? Is not he that the magistrate put a charge against for taking bribes?
12. Is not it under the reigns of this king that his people persecute our brethren who dwelleth in their country and even put many to death and rendered their businesses desolate?
13. Howbeit the Governor treat us with great disdain? For we laboureth for over ninety days without wages and he said unto us “be thou of long suffering for there is no gold and silver in the treasury that I may pay thee thy wages”. And yet he spent millions of shekels to honor the son of Zuma.
14. And the head of the laborers declared according to this words unto the people saying, “arise this day and gird thy loins for we shall march across the city of Owerri, even unto the gate of the Governor.
15. And they march across the city and declared according to this words unto the Governor, “thou dealeth treacherously with us in the manner thou sayeth ‘there is no gold and silver in the treasury that I may pay thee thy wages’. Wherefore thou honoureth the son of Zuma with so much riches from the treasury?
16. This thing shall ye do, oh Governor: remove the graven image of Jacob the son of Zuma from the city that there might be peace in the land”.
17. And the Governor replied them in this manner. “Harken unto my voice oh ye inhabitants of the land. I shall not be careful in the manner with which I answereth thee on this matter.
19. Go back to thy tents, for I, even the son of Okorocha hath repenteth not that I made a graven image of Jacob the son of Zuma. For many more of this statues shall ye see in the city of Owerri in the days ahead”.
20. And the people lamented and said “woe unto us! behold, the evil spirit from devil hath entered into the Governor. And yet many saith, verily verily, the Governor is afflicted with insanity.
21. But the Governor doeth not according to the words of the laborers, for unto this day, the statue of Jacob the son of Zuma remaineth in city of Owerri